Lou's Life.

02:08 pm - Sunshine On Leith.

Sunshine On Leith was brilliant. Everyone should see it. I don't know anyone at all who I think wouldn't love it. I was blubbing like a right soppy git.
Steve and I had such a nice night. It was our second time out together without the baby.
We went for dinner then to the theatre then walked home hand in hand up Union Street in the pouring rain. Very romantic.
We then went back to my Mum and Dad's to see Che and stood over the cot to watch Adam sleeping like an angel - one of those nights which reminds us that our lives are perfect.

04:27 pm - Films. Stolen From samski_the_duck

Go to IMDB.com and look up 10 of your favourite movies. Post three official IMDB "Plot Keywords" for these 10 picks. Have your friends guess the movie names.

1. Sister. Abortion. Father daughter relationship.
2. Marching band. Craps. Cuba.
3. Chef. Mafia. Critic. (samski_the_duck)
4. Ford Model T. Great depressio. Stable.
5. Stupidity. Catwalk. Erection. (garethisnothere)
6. Baseball bat. Honor. Guantanamo.
7. Dance. Australia. Coca cola Billboard. (outatime5000)
8. Castle. Rose. Feather duster.
9. Cave painting. Male bonding. Dodo. (samski_the_duck)
10. Homophobia. Waitress. Kindness. (samski_the_duck)

08:40 am - Adam Again.

10:52 pm - Spots!

Today Adam and I went to the pictures. We went to a see Catch A Fire at the special screening for babies. He was pretty good. Only one small bout of screaming so I missed only a tiny bit of the film. Went with two other new Mums I know and one of them brought a friend who has a baby just 3 weeks older than ours. Was a lovely sociable morning. Went for lunch afterwards with them.

The down side to all this socialising with other people and their babies is the spread of infection. This afternoon I noticed that poor Adam has chicken pox. He doesn't seem bothered by them yet but they have just started appearing today. I hope he doesn't get too unwell. Should have been getting him weighed tomorrow but I won't go to the clinic while he has the pox so we'll need to wait a while longer to see how he is getting on. He seems to be putting on weight and seems healthy enough to me so I'm not worried. Because he wasn't putting the weight on quite as well as the health visitor would have liked, he is now getting some bottle feeds to top up the breastfeeding.

Supposed to be going to Dundee at the weekend but I'll wait and see how he is. His Grandma McLaren is desperate for him to come even if he is all spotty so she's checking to make sure everyone has had chicken pox already.

11:04 pm - More Photos.

I know, I know. I've turned into a boring new Mother showing endless photos of her baby. Well, it was bound to happen...

03:44 pm - Looks like Adam has chosen his football team.

10:57 am - Busy Boy.

03:58 pm - My Baby Bear.

10:49 pm - 3 Weeks Old.

Adam will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Seems we are coping. Steve is off for a few days again - it is much easier when he is around. The breastfeeding is driving me insane though - it seems to be never ending, quite painful, exhausting and means I can't plan to do anything - as soon as a meal is made for me, he starts screaming to be fed, whenever anyone is due at the house, he wants fed, etc..

He is very cute though and I seem to be developing a deeper bond every day. I don't have the feeling he is out to get me anymore and when he is screaming, I actually want to stop him crying and to comfort him rather than just wanting him to stop to save my ears. I also enjoy spending time holding him, speaking to him and watching him - when we first came home, as soon as I had fed him, I would pass him to his Dad. I am also getting more tolerant about getting up in the night to feed him. This is all good.



Managed to get out into the garden today and start the long overdue tidying up. I coul only manage about 40 minutes as my abdominal muscles are still recovering from the section but it's a start and I'll hopefully be able to keep building it up.

Going to Dundee tomorrow to see Steve's parents. I am very conscious that my parents are much nearer and able to see Adam more often so felt we should go down to Dundee.

10:53 am - Baby Pics.

04:15 pm - Snow!

Hee hee - had an amusing farce this morning. The midwife who came to see me got stuck in the snow trying to get out of our track so Steve went to help dig her out and asked me to phone the farmer. The farmer wasn't answering so I trudged up the track in the snow in my dressing gown to tell them that I couldn't get hold of the farmer. Just then, he doctor arrived to see me. He's a really lovely GP and he shouted at me that new Mums shouldn't be out in the snow in their dressing gowns then he got stuck in trying to dig the midwife out aswell. The postman then arrived and then the snow plough came past and the man stopped to help too so they eventually got her out.

Adam is still very jaundiced and so much so that he is incredibly sleepy and I'm struggling to get him wakened enough to feed. The midwife is going to do another blood test tomorrow but is a little worried about him. I'm going away to bath him soon to see if that will help wake him enough to take his next feed. Poor baby.

This house is so cluttered with cards and flowers, I can barely move. We started off with loads of sympathy cards when Granda died, then Baby Boy cards and then Steve's and my birthday cards. So many people have actually sent us four separate cards this week! Well at least we know we're loved. :-D

02:50 pm - Adam Alexander McLaren - 03/02/07.

I went into a very very sudden labour on Friday night - 4 weeks early! Steve was away out at a work Burns Supper. It was supposed to be his last night away out drinking and after that he would stay at home and stay sober incase I needed him. Adam obviously has a sense of humour! Looking back, I must have been getting the nesting thing as I felt incredibly tired on Thursday and Friday but on Friday suddenly decided I had to buy loads of baking ingredients to bake Steve some cookies and brownies and a chocolate birthday cake. I put the chocolate cake in the oven, feeling fine and by the time it was ready to come out of the oven I had to crawl on my hands and knees through to get it - I was sooo concerned about the bloody cake burning! At about half eleven I phoned Steve to tell him I had a lot of crampy pain but no obvious contractions so I thought it was just my tummy. He was staying with my Mum and Dad so when he got back to their house, my Mum phoned me and asked if I thought my Dad should come out to spend the night in case I went into labour. I said I wasn't sure but maybe he could just come to be safe. Five minutes after that I phoned her again as I was in no doubt whatsoever that I was in good going labour but there was no answer as all of them had piled into the car. The next 40 minutes waiting for them was quite humorous looking back on them but really not funny at all at the time. I tried to finish packing my hospital bags but was doubled up with contractions and if I had had any sense would have just stopped panicking and trying to organise things. When they finally arrived I was crawling backwards down the stairs in a pitiful way.

Steve was very drunk so trying to get him to do anything like phoning the hospital or getting the notes was futile. It was a complete farce. I soon realised, though, that I needed to get to hospital fast so we all piled into the car without any of the things I had felt were so important to try to pack a few minutes ago and my Dad drove all the way to Aberdeen at 110mph! Not advisable. Steve had to open the back window and vomit all the way there. It was actually hilarious but I so did not see the funny side at the time. I really needed to push by the time we got to Bridge of Don so I was terrified we weren't going to get there.

I was fully dilated and when we arrived so I immediately launched into the pushing but after a couple of hours we weren't progressing and they told me baby was in a posterior lie. His trace seemed to show he was getting exhausted so they decided I needed an emergency section. They whipped me round to theatre and gave me a spinal anaesthetic and then very shortly, at 05.45 on Sat Feb the 3rd 2007, Adam Alexander McLaren was born.


He was taken to the neonatal unit but I got him back to me on Sunday evening. He has had jaundice though so we were kept in hospital a bit longer to monitor his blood levels, for me to recover and for us to get the breast feeding established.


I was allowed away for a couple of hours yesterday to go to my Granda's funeral and the midwives looked after Adam. I decided at the funeral to give Adam my Granda's name as a middle name so the Alexander has just been added in since then. The funeral was really good. Dad made a very good job of the service. The music Coronation Scot was played at the end. It starts off with a steam engine's whistle then the steam train starts chugging and pulling away. They played that while the curtains drew round his coffin so it really was like Granda was away on his last ever train journey. Dad said in his speech, "Alec was really looking forward to the baby coming but unfortunately he died on the Saturday and Adam arrived exactly one week later. It wasn't like Alec to miss a connection." Obviously that had me sobbing.


Anyway, I was supposed to be getting discharged today but Adam's blood tests were a bit better yesterday and I knew the snow was coming so when I got back after the funeral I begged them to let me go. Thank goodness I did as we wouldn't have got home today with all the snow if we had waited.


Adam is lovely. He's very good and getting better at this breast feeding lark. His Daddy is mesmerised by him, is being wonderful with him and also did a mad housework job this morning before the midwife came! I managed to get 3 solid hours of sleep last night and am able to take it easy today not having doctors, physios, midwives, visitors, etc all the time so we're now all able to relax and enjoy being a family. Even Che has been great with the baby - he has given him a good sniff and seems to have accepted him as part of the family.

So, here's to the next chapter in our lives and to Adam. Cheers.

04:30 pm - RSPB Garden Birdwatch.

Very disappointing results here this year. For most of the hour I sat looking out, my garden seemed the most desolate and barren place on Earth. I'll record my results here, though, so I can see if I can do more to attract birds and get better results next year.

Carrion crow - 3
Chaffinch - 2
Greenfinch - 2
Robin - 1

I did, however come face to face with a deer in the forest this morning. I love moments like that. It looked me straight in the eye then swiftly jumped the fence and disappeared. Lovely.

10:14 pm - Granda.

I am sad just now.



I went to visit Granda yesterday evening and found him dead in his bed. I think he probably died in the early hours of the morning so had lain all day without anyone knowing. I think it was probably a pulmonary embolism or a heart attack. It was completely unexpected and very sudden. Mum saw him on Friday and he was fine and my Great Aunt said she had a really nice conversation with him on Friday night on the phone. Sounds like he didn't suffer much then and died quite quickly in his own bed - probably the best way to go.

The worst thing was having to phone Mum and break the news to her. She coped fine with it though - she said she was able to cope better with it because I had told her rather than her just finding him herself. She thinks he is better away as he was pretty miserable and lonely for the last year of his life since his wife left him.

I just wish he could have stayed alive a bit longer as I wanted a photo of my baby with his/her Great Granda and I know Granda was quite excited about the baby coming. He gave us money at Christmas for the baby and we bought a Moses basket with it so it's nice we have that.

When I saw him, I knew he was dead - I cried a bit and said to him "why couldn't you just wait another 3 weeks and meet the baby?" then I gave him a hug and kiss and said "Goodbye". I then had to phone Mum.

Things could get a bit messy now as all his money and his house will go to his wife who left him over a year ago. There are a couple of people in the family who think she was wrong to do that and I'm worried they are going to kick up a fuss about the will. It could all get very unpleasant. I don't want that.

The crematorium has one burner closed at the moment so there is a back log of cremations and we may have to wait up to two weeks before the funeral. This could mean I could have a pretty busy few weeks as I have less than 3 weeks before I am likely to be induced. I suppose there is something a bit poetic about the last of my Grandparents dying just as the next generation is born.




My Granda was a good man. He had two daughters and his first wife died in 1980 with lung cancer. He was a train driver. Started off as a fireman on the steam trains then became a driver. One of my best memories is him taking me into the engine of an Intercity 125 when they were brand new at Aberdeen train station and him letting me beep the horn. Everyone in the station jumped three feet in the air. I wonder if he got into trouble for that. He loved me very much - absolutely doted on me and thought the sun shone out of my bum. I was his "little quinie" and he made me feel very special. He also liked a good drink and I have many memories of him getting drunk and making me sit on his knee when he would sing "Baa baa black sheep" to me.
He also really loved Che. He called him his black and white friend and h eyes lit up when he saw Che. He would feed him oatcakes whenever we went round.
Unfortunately, his bad health and ageing meant he became a bit manipulative and depressed latterly so his second wife left him a year and a half ago because she couldn't live with him anymore. They had been married more than 25 years. She couldn't cope with him anymore. Obviously, this made him very depressed and meant he was living alone. Mum has therefore had a really hard time over the last year or so with him. She has visited him every single day, looking after him, doing everything for him and very often he would be unappreciative and manipulative and horrible to her. Some part of her must feel relieved he has gone but she's obviously still very upset. Although he wasn't always the best towards her, he loved her very much and knew that she did so much for him. Mum and I were his closest family and he loved us.

I have taken a few keepsakes from his house - his war service medal from when he was in Palestine, his railway union badges, his soldier's paybook. I've also got some good recent photos of him. There is a great one of him in the bar at our house holding up a pint and grinning. There are also some photos of him and me dancing at my Auntie's wedding in September. I have lots of good memories of him.

Bye Granda. I love you lots and lots.

09:15 am - A New Year, A New Life.

I am now on maternity leave. I had thought that I was stopping too early as when I left work on the last day, I felt I could easily carry on for a while longer. However, I am now very glad I am off as I am beginning to struggle. I am constantly sore - aching back, horrendous heartburn and a constant need to go to the toilet. The results of these mean I am getting very little sleep. I know that I am still a lot better off than a lot of pregnant women but I just thought I should record my moans to try to remind myself of these things if I ever find myself contemplating doing it all over again in the future.

Another scan today. We'll see what size Pi is today. Last scan showed he/she was growing pretty big - had jumped up from 50th centile at the previous scan to 95th centile. I hope it has slowed down again - I really would like to try for a normal delivery if at all possible.

Our antenatal class tonight will also be at the hospital. Getting a tour of labour ward and the baby nursery and whatnot.

We got money from Granda for Christmas which we have used to buy a Moses basket. Mum has bought us the mattress for the cot and all the bedding plus the clothes the baby will need in hospital. I have bought nursing nighties and PJs to pack in hospital bag plus disposable nappies. I'll only use the disposables while in the hospital. Pi is likely to be kept in the paediatric bit for a few days so best they have disposbles to use for that but then when we get him/her home, we will transfer onto proper nappies. I have ordered those now too. A selection of fluffy nappies - they actually look quite cute, believe it or not.

Nursery decoration is underway too. Plumber came today and got the radiator working in that room and at the weekend Steve and I got started on the painting.

Not long to go now. Sometimes, I am terrified and just want to change my mind. I wish Steve and I had had the money to go away on a foreign holiday at the start of the pregnancy. Too late now.

Still no sign of Steve's Wii coming. I keep joking with him that it will probably turn up once the baby is here and he has no time to play with it but it seems this is getting to be less and less of a joke. I emailed HMV but they told me they couldn't give me any idea at all of when they might be able to get it to us.

There's not much else happening in my life just now. It seems to be all pregnancy/baby related and I guess that's going to become worse. Steve is very busy at work but he's also great when he comes home. He's helping with getting the nursery done and also being good to me when I'm feeling crap. He'll start being a tutor at the university soon aswell so he'll have a lot of preparation to do for that. I need to remember to keep telling him how much I appreciate him.

So, that's all for now.

06:07 pm - Getting Ready.

Getting ready for Christmas and for new baby coming.

I have put up some gold glittery stuff to hang the Christmas cards from and started writing my cards a few nights ago. I will finish them tonight when I'm sitting watching TV. I am sending a minimum only and have donated the extra money to Motor Neurone Disease. If anyone wants to add any money, I would very much appreciate it.
http://www.justgiving.com/Gorum

I have also just painted over the tester samples on the walls of the nursery to be with white emulsion. I'll give it a second coat later on. I hope to get the window and door frames stripped back tomorrow and start giving them a coat of varnish then on Sunday, hopefully be able to start painting. At our antenatal classes, we are so far behind everyone else in the organisation stakes. They all have prams, car seats, sterilisers, etc etc. Steve and I have nothing. It is a really daunting task. We will have to go to Mothercare soon and start looking at car seats and trying them out in our cars to find one which will fit well. We will also need to make a list of what we need. Babies are completely foreign to me. Scary.

I am 29 weeks pregnant now. I feel huge. I'm tiring really quickly and have a constant sore back. Apart from that everything seems to be going fine. I have another scan on Tuesday. Dad is going to come with me to see his Grandchild on the screen. Steve is kindly giving up his space in the scanning room to give someone else a turn. I only have 3 more weeks to work. How fantastic is that? I am so looking forward to being off work. Hopefully I'll get at least a month off before the baby comes so I can get things organised and take it easy for a while. Got confirmation that I will be paid maternity allowance. I'm actually quite enjoying the mad budgeting we are doing and trying to make do and not spend any money at all although sometimes I do get into a panic when I think of something else we'll need to pay for.

We went to our first NCT antenatal class last week. It's a group of six couples in total and everyone seems really nice. Unfortunately they are all in Aberdeen so although I can see us making friends, the fact we are so far out of the city might make it difficult to foster those new friendships, especially after babies come along. We'll wait and see how it goes anyway. We have an Australian, a Texan and a few English people there so it's quite a nice mix. I'm really looking forward to the next one.

Mum is away on a cruise to the Caribbean just now so Granda is in a home for respite again. We'll go into Aberdeen and visit him at some point at the weekend. I went to see him on Tuesday and he seemed in really good form. He does seem to thrive on the company he gets from being in a home. I just don't think he'll ever admit it and agree to go in permanently. I have a suspicion he would much rather Mum has to run after him every single day. I haven't been that great at helping her out lately. I have only been going to see Granda once a week as the travelling into and out of Aberdeen and the petrol it costs is getting to me. I tell her he can manage without seeing her every day and she knows this but, for some reason, she is still running after him all the time. If only he would appreciate her.

Had a scare with Che again. He got all the symptoms of his mysterious illness again but this time I managed to get him an appointment with the vet immediately and she agreed with me just to start the steroids straight away and not wait for the results of endless tests again. The steroids seemed to nip it in the bud really quickly. He's now on a reducing dose and suffering from some side effects of the steroids but essentially fine. The main thing is, he's eating. If we can do this every time and solve it quickly with the steroids, it's going to save me a lot of heartbreak.

Got our Christmas party with work next weekend. I've been there over a year now but this will be the first time I have socialised with any of them. It seems I am going to become one of the team just in time for me leaving. Hmmmph.

Finished our joinery class for this term last night and went for a few drinks afterwards. I made a kestrel box and a wee tit box aswell just as an extra. Nice bunch of people. I'll miss the next term but hope to go back again next September.

Well, I'm away to make mince and tatties for my tea. Steve is away out tonight on his first of three Christmas nights out. I am not invited to any. He, of course, is coming to my Christmas night out. So, either the rich lawyers are stingy gits who don't invite partners or Steve is just ashamed of his big fat pregnant wife. I'll make myself feel better by assuming it's the former. It is actually quite isolating living way out here in the middle of nowhere. I still love it but I am a little worried I'll feel totally isolated when I have a baby and am at home by myself all the time.

10:35 pm - Improving My Writing.

Look how helpful people on the Nanowrimo forums can be!

I posted the first passage of my novel (remember I wrote this very quickly with no self editing at all as that is the idea of getting the 50,000 words so my writing wouldn't normally be just as bad as that, although not much better either, though) and asked for help with improving my writing.

So far, I have had some really helpful responses.

The forums are brilliant for help with creative writing like that.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=28472&start=0#forumpost476501

03:47 pm - Woo! I am a nanowrimo winner!

11:12 pm - The Butterfly Effect.

Oooh horrible film.
Quite depressing and with some rather horrible bits in.
Steve was really depressed today and he said that Sam should get a bollocking for recommending this film as it has made him even more depressed.

Some interesting ideas but ultimately, not a feel good film at all.

And Sam didn't warn me about the bit with the dog. Bad Sam.


I loved the Bradbury story though. Excellent short story. I noticed they did a wee salute to Bradbury in the film at one point.

Ashton Kutcher - what a minger - I just don't get why people fancy him at all.

10:07 pm - Steve's Graph.

http://www.cugley.co.uk/NaNoWriMo/141048.png